My "dream"
Feb 12, 2006
One dawn I’ll never forget.
Why?
Cos that’s the day I first had a vision, or rather, a dream so vivid it seemed real.
Yeah, that the word- real. Brought to my mind Morpheus’ famous words, “Real? What is real?” But the obvious truth would be- its not. Because it was that impossible.
In the dream, I was transported through space and time, and appeared in the midst of a battlefield, on a moving chariot, decked in armour: a picture perfect image of a warrior going to battle…
I was numb with shock at first, but then I muttered under my breath, “What the hell?”
My charioteer turned back and then I became speechless… I gazed at him- his yellow silk pitambar, his dark- almost bluish- skin, his golden crown with a blue-green peacock feather flying jauntily on top, his body a vision of such physical perfection that would put John Abraham to shame, with a languid- almost feline-grace, there sat a man who would come to be revered by millions of Hindus worldwide… Krishna.
He spoke with a fine cultured voice, a language which I instantly realized to be pure Sanskrit, and I found out to my surprise that I was able to understand every word as if he was talking to me in English, “ What happened, Arjuna? Lost your courage again, friend? Today is a very crucial day for you, for us, for the whole Pandava army. If you don’t succeed, you’ll have to fulfill your oath and sacrifice your life at the pyre. Hence, it is imperative that you keep a cool head and focus on your mission.”
His words sent my mind into a never ending spiral of thoughts- that I was somehow brought into the canvas of the Mahabharata… that I was Arjuna! But how? I dint understand; nothing made sense anymore…
I looked at my arms, and was amazed to see that they were muscled. Then I realized- if I had become Arjuna, then I’d be having his physical form too.. I would’ve wagered that I was no less handsome than Krishna, though considerably fairer.
But then, his last few words struck home… was I about to face the entire Kaurava army single-handed? That was a ‘mission impossible’, meant for guys like Ethan Hunt, not a medical student like me!!!
I involuntarily said, “ Fuck! This cant be happening!” Krishna looked at me harshly and yelled, “Well, fuck you too! I’m fed up of babysitting you… its too much for me! Remember, you have to avenge Abhimanyu’s death today!!!” And he turned forward and waited silently, expecting me to say something. I was shocked and speechless, I dint know what to do, and more importantly, how to do. All I knew was that only Krishna could help me out, and so I beseeched him, “Krishna, please help me!! I swear I’ll do whatever you tell me to do.”
Krishna looked at me, his face radiant, and replied, “ Alright, Arjuna. What would I not do for you? Come, take your Gandiva and show the Kauravas what you’re made of. Don’t forget- you are the finest archer in all Aryavarta. Make them realize it today! Its time you displayed your famed skills.”
I dint say anything, just took the Gandiva and prayed silently to Krishna. I was able to lift the Bow of Shiva quite easily. Touching it seemed to impart strength to my arms and confidence to my confused mind.
He started the chariot and I almost fell off it, just managing to hang onto the flagstaff. It was a magnificent sight, I knew- the sleek chariot, driven by four white stallions, the flag of Hanuman blowing gracefully; which has been drawn innumerable times by artists and craftsmen over the centuries that followed. Being a part of this immortalised scene left my mind in a tangle.. I couldnt comprehend the implications- was I in the past, or in some alternate universe that resembled the past, a la Ilium and Olympos??
By now, we were close enough to make out the faces of the warriors of the Kaurava army.. I began to feel butterflies in my stomach, but I knew one thing that gave me hope. If I did exactly what the original Arjuna had done, and followed Krishna’s advice, I had a fair chance of staying alive. And since Indian epics like the Ramayana and the Mahabharata were my favourite discussion topics, I knew more or less what was gonna happen, and this gave me a fighting chance.
I could recognize most of the warriors- it was like I had lived here all my life. All of them- handsome, proud, ambitious, fair- seemed a bit harried on seeing my chariot advance, which heartened me a lot.
As I approached the frontline, a chariot driven by four ebony skinned horses advanced from the Kaurava frontline towards me. It was Dronacharya, the General of the 11 akshohini divisions, the man who had taught Arjuna [i.e me.. I had a hard time trying to think as if I were Arjuna] the science of war.
He shot an astra effortlessly. I looked on, paralysed with fright, but then noticed that I had released an astra in retaliation. It was as if my arms had moved of their own volition. I was overjoyed, cos I dint know a single thing about using a bow. The battle went on for quite some time.. For every arrow he shot, I gave a fitting reply, even before I was aware I had done it!
Eventually, I managed to split his bow into two. And then I said, “Sir, you are my master. It is not suitable for us to fight each other. Kindly give me your ashirwad so that I can fulfill my oath.” And then, Krishna deftly turned the chariot away and plunged headlong into the Kaurava frontline. We entered a battalion of elephants and as we dodged them, I asked, “What happened? How did I say that?” And Krishna just smiled and replied, “I made you say those words. We were wasting time there.” I nodded and began to concentrate on shooting arrows at the bowmen on top of the elephants.
The rest of the battle was a blur.. I only felt the speed of the chariot and the relentless exodus of arrows from my Gandiva. I wondered- perhaps Krishna had a hand in all this? But I kept quiet… after all, who was I to question his will??
As the hours passed, my right arm became weary. I could not see any end to the battle, and was becoming despondent, when voila! My hands shifted the Gandiva and I was amazed to see that I could shoot as fluently with my left hand; and then it struck me: I was ambidextrous, Savyasachin!
Krishna’s deft handling of the chariot won frequent applause from the Kaurava ranks. Many of their champions came forward to thwart me, but by good luck or my awesome reflexes, I was able to drive them away. I began to detest the act of killing, as Arjuna had, and so detached my mind and did it mechanically like a chore.
As the afternoon turned into evening, I eventually reached the last formation- eight yoddhas protecting Jayadratha and their armies, all of them with one objective- to prevent me from killing the Saindhava by sundown.
As I engaged Aswatthama, I saw behind me Satyaki challenge Bhurisravas, while Bhima intercepted Karna. I was relieved to see history repeat itself, or was it just occurring? I dint know, dint care.. All I wanted now was Jayadratha’s head- nothing else mattered to me anymore.
The final battles were the toughest… They taxed me to the fullest. I could see flashes of the other battles, had to severe Bhurisravas’ right hand when he tried to kill a weakened Satyaki, then endured the horror of watching Satyaki behead Bhurisravas while the latter was in a state of yoganidra, had to intercept Karna while he was harrying Bhima.. All these visions swam through my mind. But throughout all these events, only one thing was constant in my mind- my faith in Krishna, that he would somehow find a solution.
And then, I was in front of him- Jayadratha. I tried my best to split his bow, to pierce the weak points of his armour, but Jayadratha fought like a man possessed- for his very life hung in the balance. The battle continued for a long time when suddenly all was dark on the battlefield. We stopped fighting. And the Kaurava army began to exult that I had failed to fulfill my oath. I hung my head down, knowing that my failure to kill Jayadratha might mark a turning point in the War. But I couldn’t help thinking that there was a similar incident in the Mahabharata, and that gave me hope.
Krishna’s next words confirmed my thoughts, “Arjuna, don’t worry- its just an eclipse! Here is your best chance.” And as soon as the sun began to reappear, I shot off an astra that severed Jayadratha’s head. Krishna yelled, “Keep the head in the air; send it to his father’s lap!” And then I remembered the curse, thanks to my knowledge about the Mahabharata: Jayadratha’s dad Vriddhakshatra had cursed that the person who caused his son’s head to roll onto the ground, would have his own head shattered at that very moment into fragments.
So I sent my shaft in swift relays, supporting the head in mid air while projecting it to Vriddhakshatra’s ashrama. Thanks to Krishna’s powers, I was able to see him in my mind’s eye, and landed his son’s head on his lap. So, on finishing his meditation, when he got up, his head burst into fragments.
And then I knew it was over. We all started celebrating wildly- Bhima yelled one of his trademark lionroars while I, Krishna and Satyaki danced with joy and relief and exultation. After some time, Krishna came close to me and whispered, “I’m glad that you learnt your lesson, my friend” and then he touched on my shoulder. And I felt something in me tug me away from that scene, and before I knew it, I was back on my bed, almost dripping with sweat.
I’ve pondered Krishna’s last words several times, but never actually managed to decode their inner meaning. I’m still searching for an answer; what was my lesson actually? I just have no idea!
